The news came as a shock, even today I have trouble believing it happened to me. I was home one afternoon talking on the phone with Leigh (gossiping basically) when Ela came into my room and with a stern voice asked me to finish the call and sit down. I quickly hung up and sat down, from that moment on I knew the news were not good. A well dress man I had never seen came in the room.
He looked at me and slowly spoke. "Miss, I'm so sorry to inform you about the tragic..." I do not remember much more after. I fainted, and when I woke up I was lying on my bed. Ela was sitting by side. Father had been killed in a protest that had turned violent in one of his business trips to Africa. It wasn't unheard of, but it was something I never though would hit this close to my sheltered reality.
Ela started softly caressing my head. She started to say something to try comfort me, but I could only cry. I was despondent, and my sadness turned to hysterics. I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I do know I lost control and began wailing around. Ela tried to control me, but unable to control me, she summoned someone that had been waiting outside my room. Between Ela and this young girl I had never seen, they were able to subdue me in my wild behavior, and wrapped me in the thick comforter of my bed to bring me under control. While Ela held me down, the new girl went out of the room, and came back with some large bundles, which I could not distinguish from where I was lying in my bed.
"Ashley, I can't even begin to understand the pain you're going through, but you need to calm down." As she kept talking and trying to soothe me, my crying subsided into a sob. They began to unwrap the thick down comforter from around me, and I began to feel a bit better. But in an instant I saw Ela and her helper girl spring to my side and in a flash grab me arms.
"This is for your own good," Ela said.
They quickly unlocked my brown day suit and expertly peeled it off me.
"Please cooperate, it'll be easier for all of us."
They extended the dreaded inner suit and slipped me into it without even lifting me from my bed. I started to panic and cry in hysteria as my face was stuffed inside the full face hood and the zipper was locked in the back.
The thick winter suit was next, and in no time I was locked tight inside. I could hardly move, but I tried to protest anyhow. Ela just pushed me hard into the bed, as the other girl wrapped something brown around my body. I felt a zipper close, and soon my arms were pinned to my side, and legs were tangled together under so many layers of thick padding. Yet another hood was placed over my head. This brought the hood of my winter suit even lower. I could bare see out of my hoods.
"Mary was kind enough to lend us this cape. It's a bit small for you but it will do for now. Now my dear, I need you to calm down." Ela left the room and came back with a cup of water.
"Drink a bit, tomorrow you will feel better. You need to rest, but I'll be your side."
I drank some of the water and tried to calm down. There was no point in fighting my confining clothing, it was too much and too tight. I wanted to claw and crawl my way out of my restraints, yet knowing that it was impossible brought me a bit of calm. Ela took the comforter and tucked me. I could hardly move without the comforter, but Ela was always thorough. She took a scarf and wrapped it around my faces, blinding me. In this state I sleep a bit, waking up crying several times. Every time Ela would start caressing me through the many layers I was wrapped in, until I fell sleep again. I can't say I slept comfortable trussed up as I was, but at least I slept.
The next morning things were a bit less foggy, but I was still in shock. The man who had visited us was one of father's managers. As a employee, father had a very significant life insurance policy, but since he died in the job I would be entitled to a partial pension. They will also take care of repatriating the body, as well as the funeral arrangements. As Ela was my guardian, she would handle most of the remaining issues, and would remain my guardian, paid by a trust set up by father's estate. Given the new situation, Ela had hired a new girl, Mary, to help her around the house and with me. Several men passed by the house the next day. There were lots of little details, most of which were handled by others, as I was still bound by the Guardianship Law. I just sat there, still crying, still in my winter suit. At one point I started to have another panic attack, so Ela instructed Mary to take back to my room. In my room Mary took the down cape and fastened it around me. It was hot and tight, but I knew there was no point in resisting. She left me alone to calm to down a bit.
Ela and Mary came into my room and without saying a word led me out to a waiting taxi. I had lost track of time, but it was already dark. I can't say I was surprised when we arrived at Ms. Brightwood's shop. An attendant welcomed and let us into the deserted showroom. She politely expressed her condolences and then disappeared out the back. I just waited in silence trying to control my sobbing, held mostly immobile under the tight undersuit, the super thick winter suit, and the too tight cape. I was sweating sealed in my sweltering clothing, but I knew that struggling would just make me hotter and more uncomfortable. I preferred not to ask why we were there, but it did surprise me that it took a long time for Ms. Brightwood to see us.
... part 6
Monday, October 19, 2015
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Deep freeze (part 4)
...part 3
My first winter suit left me terrified when I laid eyes on it for the first time. Ela took me to the shops without telling me why, which increased my suspicion. By the time we got to the shop, suspicion was turning into dread. I was welcomed by Ms. Brightwood. She preferred fitting girls that were getting their first full winter suit. I had seen a few ladies on the streets wearing winter suits, but until now I never fully understood what that entailed.
The suit was composed of two parts. The first part was the inner suit, which functions as underwear. It was very plain, just plain nylon, covering from head to toe, including attached gloves and soft booties. It had a full face hood, having only two small slits for the eyes, two tiny holes for breathing, and a small round hole at the mouth, big enough to fit a straw but not much else. It had a rear entry zipper going from the crown of the head to the waist. Another zipper went around the crotch area. This zipper allowed the girl trapped inside to do her bodily functions without being released from her down prison. Both zippers locked in the back, using different keys. I was told to undress completely, even removing my bra and underwear, the inner suit is worn directly next to the skin. Ms. Brightwood started putting the horrible garment on me, first the legs, then the arms. By the time Ms. Brightwood started pushing my head into the full face hood, tears were running down my cheeks.
Ms. Brightwood tried to calm me. "My dear, try to calm down, it might not be pleasant in the beginning, but you will get used to it in time. We all do. Believe me, Ashley, I've worn one and it's not as bad as it seems."
I could only reply with my now muffled sobs. I looked at my self in the mirror, and I could hardly think that alien figure was me. I had been reduced to a shadow, encased in thick featureless down.
My vision was severely limited by the thin slits present in the mask. My hearing was limited. I could not touch or be touched. I could see the world through the eye slits, but I was in a different place, my own portable prison from which there is no way for me to escape. The inner suit was very snug, I could feel elastic around my chest, holding tight the integrated foam bra cups sewn into the suit.
"Do you want me to let you settle into your inner suit first? Or do you want to try your outer suit right now?"
The outer suit looked similar to my first regular suit, however in a dark brown color that Ela had chosen. However, as I expected, it was thicker, heavier, more intimidating. Was I going to be locked inside that? We'll, the answer was obvious. This is what I had "wanted", before I really knew what it was and how things would unravel.
It was obvious that Ms Brightwood was struggling to remove the suit from its bag. It was that heavy. Once the front zipper was opened, Ms Brightwood signaled me to come forward. She started easing my left foot into the outer suit, all the way into the integrated boot. The outer fabric of my under suit slid easily against the smooth lining of the outer suit. The integrated boots were significantly larger than the ones in my other suits, to account for the extra padding of the under suit's booties as opposed to bare skin. Walking in the suit proved to be quite challenging, due the increased width and weight of my new boots. Also, because of the thickness of the two suits, flexing my ankles and knees was harder, making me walk stiffly. I felt as if my feet were encased in concrete blocks! The apron of the suit was much longer than in my other suits reaching all the way down to my ankles. It also felt tighter, but that could have been just caused by the bulk of the three layers, the under suit, the pants off the outer suit, and the apron. At this point I was just glad that Ms. Brightwood left my kick pleat unzipped.
The outer suit was made of three layers. The outer layer is made of rough nylon material, water and wind proof, quilted with a thin layer of insulation. They innermost layer is made of soft silky material, also quilted with a thin layer of cotton batting. The purpose of the quilting of the outer and inner layers is not to provide warmth to the wearer, but rather to protect the middle layer, which is composed of very thick chambers of fabric filled with down. Instead of gloves, the outer suit had attached mittens. A heavy duty zipper at the cuff secured the sleeve of the suit, and ensured that I wouldn't be able to pull out my hands. Not that there was any wiggle room inside the suit, it was a snug fit. Between the gloves of my under suit and the outer mittens, my hands were mostly useless. But a true lady is expected to be helpless, so I shouldn't have been surprised.
Once the suit was fully zipped up around me, the feeling was overwhelming. I felt like I was in my own little world, behind a soft but thick wall. When I had seen ladies on the street wearing suits similar to the one I had on, I had thought that they were only using it to brave the extreme cold outside, but now I realized these suits were meant for long term wear. My mobility was severely limited. I could walk, but barely. The boots were so big, each step took a lot of concentration to lift up each boot and move it without hitting the opposite boot. The thickness of the layers also made the suit very confining, the inside soft, yet suffocatingly tight. The sleeves were stiff, and I could barely move my arms. The fact that it was locked and I had no access to the key made it feel worse. But thinking it through, even if I had the key, I doubt I would be able to manipulate it with my hands bound inside thick gloves AND mittens. And it was hot! I had just been trapped in the thing for a few minutes and could already feel the heat building in. And completely sealed in the suit except for five tiny holes in the full face hood, the heat had no where to go.
The extra thick hood had two flaps attached, that closed over my face. Once closed the flaps completely covered my mouth, and the hood was pulled down right to my eye brows, barely leaving my nose and eyes free. Of course my whole face was covered by the under suit. The hood itself was thicker than my other suits, probably a good two inches, leaving me with only a tunnel vision. Once the hood was in place, Ela fastened the three heavy duty snaps that held the hood in place. They were solidly locked in place. No respite for me without the key. A key I had never even seen, and surely was tucked away from my reach.
After we left, Ela decided it was a good time to go for a walk for me to get used to my suit. Window shopping, she said. However with my complete lack of peripheral vision I was barely able to see forward to not trip or run into something. With every step my discomfort grew. The weather was chilly out side, but I was still way over dressed and the heat was building up inside my suit. The stiffness of the boots made every step a monumental feat. The weight of my ensemble, coupled with the extra effort needed to move my arms, had my shoulders very sore. After twenty minutes we had just advanced three blocks, I was holding back my tears, sweltering under layers of thick down. Ela had a wide smile. She was enjoying this a lot more that I was.
It took us a good hour to get home. When I got home I was exhausted. Wearing the suit was oppressing, it was hot, tight, bulky, and stiff. I was relieved and surprised that Ela unlocked me shortly after reaching home, and allowed me to change into one of my regular suits. It was surprising how one of my regular suits now felt liberating compared to the winter suit. She took the suit away and I did not see it again for a few days. However, there was a question I couldn't get out of my mind: how much worse can this get?
My first winter suit left me terrified when I laid eyes on it for the first time. Ela took me to the shops without telling me why, which increased my suspicion. By the time we got to the shop, suspicion was turning into dread. I was welcomed by Ms. Brightwood. She preferred fitting girls that were getting their first full winter suit. I had seen a few ladies on the streets wearing winter suits, but until now I never fully understood what that entailed.
The suit was composed of two parts. The first part was the inner suit, which functions as underwear. It was very plain, just plain nylon, covering from head to toe, including attached gloves and soft booties. It had a full face hood, having only two small slits for the eyes, two tiny holes for breathing, and a small round hole at the mouth, big enough to fit a straw but not much else. It had a rear entry zipper going from the crown of the head to the waist. Another zipper went around the crotch area. This zipper allowed the girl trapped inside to do her bodily functions without being released from her down prison. Both zippers locked in the back, using different keys. I was told to undress completely, even removing my bra and underwear, the inner suit is worn directly next to the skin. Ms. Brightwood started putting the horrible garment on me, first the legs, then the arms. By the time Ms. Brightwood started pushing my head into the full face hood, tears were running down my cheeks.
Ms. Brightwood tried to calm me. "My dear, try to calm down, it might not be pleasant in the beginning, but you will get used to it in time. We all do. Believe me, Ashley, I've worn one and it's not as bad as it seems."
I could only reply with my now muffled sobs. I looked at my self in the mirror, and I could hardly think that alien figure was me. I had been reduced to a shadow, encased in thick featureless down.
My vision was severely limited by the thin slits present in the mask. My hearing was limited. I could not touch or be touched. I could see the world through the eye slits, but I was in a different place, my own portable prison from which there is no way for me to escape. The inner suit was very snug, I could feel elastic around my chest, holding tight the integrated foam bra cups sewn into the suit.
"Do you want me to let you settle into your inner suit first? Or do you want to try your outer suit right now?"
The outer suit looked similar to my first regular suit, however in a dark brown color that Ela had chosen. However, as I expected, it was thicker, heavier, more intimidating. Was I going to be locked inside that? We'll, the answer was obvious. This is what I had "wanted", before I really knew what it was and how things would unravel.
It was obvious that Ms Brightwood was struggling to remove the suit from its bag. It was that heavy. Once the front zipper was opened, Ms Brightwood signaled me to come forward. She started easing my left foot into the outer suit, all the way into the integrated boot. The outer fabric of my under suit slid easily against the smooth lining of the outer suit. The integrated boots were significantly larger than the ones in my other suits, to account for the extra padding of the under suit's booties as opposed to bare skin. Walking in the suit proved to be quite challenging, due the increased width and weight of my new boots. Also, because of the thickness of the two suits, flexing my ankles and knees was harder, making me walk stiffly. I felt as if my feet were encased in concrete blocks! The apron of the suit was much longer than in my other suits reaching all the way down to my ankles. It also felt tighter, but that could have been just caused by the bulk of the three layers, the under suit, the pants off the outer suit, and the apron. At this point I was just glad that Ms. Brightwood left my kick pleat unzipped.
The outer suit was made of three layers. The outer layer is made of rough nylon material, water and wind proof, quilted with a thin layer of insulation. They innermost layer is made of soft silky material, also quilted with a thin layer of cotton batting. The purpose of the quilting of the outer and inner layers is not to provide warmth to the wearer, but rather to protect the middle layer, which is composed of very thick chambers of fabric filled with down. Instead of gloves, the outer suit had attached mittens. A heavy duty zipper at the cuff secured the sleeve of the suit, and ensured that I wouldn't be able to pull out my hands. Not that there was any wiggle room inside the suit, it was a snug fit. Between the gloves of my under suit and the outer mittens, my hands were mostly useless. But a true lady is expected to be helpless, so I shouldn't have been surprised.
Once the suit was fully zipped up around me, the feeling was overwhelming. I felt like I was in my own little world, behind a soft but thick wall. When I had seen ladies on the street wearing suits similar to the one I had on, I had thought that they were only using it to brave the extreme cold outside, but now I realized these suits were meant for long term wear. My mobility was severely limited. I could walk, but barely. The boots were so big, each step took a lot of concentration to lift up each boot and move it without hitting the opposite boot. The thickness of the layers also made the suit very confining, the inside soft, yet suffocatingly tight. The sleeves were stiff, and I could barely move my arms. The fact that it was locked and I had no access to the key made it feel worse. But thinking it through, even if I had the key, I doubt I would be able to manipulate it with my hands bound inside thick gloves AND mittens. And it was hot! I had just been trapped in the thing for a few minutes and could already feel the heat building in. And completely sealed in the suit except for five tiny holes in the full face hood, the heat had no where to go.
The extra thick hood had two flaps attached, that closed over my face. Once closed the flaps completely covered my mouth, and the hood was pulled down right to my eye brows, barely leaving my nose and eyes free. Of course my whole face was covered by the under suit. The hood itself was thicker than my other suits, probably a good two inches, leaving me with only a tunnel vision. Once the hood was in place, Ela fastened the three heavy duty snaps that held the hood in place. They were solidly locked in place. No respite for me without the key. A key I had never even seen, and surely was tucked away from my reach.
After we left, Ela decided it was a good time to go for a walk for me to get used to my suit. Window shopping, she said. However with my complete lack of peripheral vision I was barely able to see forward to not trip or run into something. With every step my discomfort grew. The weather was chilly out side, but I was still way over dressed and the heat was building up inside my suit. The stiffness of the boots made every step a monumental feat. The weight of my ensemble, coupled with the extra effort needed to move my arms, had my shoulders very sore. After twenty minutes we had just advanced three blocks, I was holding back my tears, sweltering under layers of thick down. Ela had a wide smile. She was enjoying this a lot more that I was.
It took us a good hour to get home. When I got home I was exhausted. Wearing the suit was oppressing, it was hot, tight, bulky, and stiff. I was relieved and surprised that Ela unlocked me shortly after reaching home, and allowed me to change into one of my regular suits. It was surprising how one of my regular suits now felt liberating compared to the winter suit. She took the suit away and I did not see it again for a few days. However, there was a question I couldn't get out of my mind: how much worse can this get?
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