Mother's needs (part 2)

... part 1



"...Mother, but most of the kids are still wearing t-shirts and shorts. And you want me walk around wearing snow boots in September?"


"Yes, but they were born here. You were born in a very different place. From now on I also want you to take your down coat and wear your snow boots to school. Here it gets chilly!"



"It's not fair, I'm going to feel humiliated dressed like that!"


"I won't take that tone from you. And because you're so reluctant, I actually expect you to wear your coat to and from school. Go on, put it on..." I threatened her.


Tatiana lowered her head, put her boots and coat on, and headed out the door. I was glad and relieved as I saw her walking away wearing her nice warm snow boots and thick down coat.


Based on my insistence, Tatiana soon started to wear enough layers to keep her warm, specially as she walked to school in the chilly mornings:

- A nice thick down coat, full of warm down to keep her toasty from head to just above the knee. I always insist she that wears it fully zipped and with her hood up, to keep the wind from making her sick.
- Her snow boots. They might get a little too hot for all-day indoor use, and are a bit bulky, but they are real snow boots.
- Leather gloves.
- A warm knit hat.


That many layers might have been too much for when Tatiana came back from school and the day had already warned up, but nonetheless I insisted that she dress warm whenever she went out, whether walking or driving. I made a point of helping her put on her coat, hat, and boots whenever she left for school or when we went out for some errands.


As the weather turned colder, I decided a few more pieces were appropiate. By mid October, Tatiana's regular outfit included:

- A thin turtleneck blouse AND a thick turtleneck sweater.
- A maxi down coat instead of her regular hip length coat. This reached all the way to her ankles, keeping her legs and torso warm.
- A down filled puffer vest. I bought her multiple ones, in various colors and cute patterns to make sure she always had one to wear.
- Down mittens over her leather gloves.
- A thick wool scarf, tightly tied around her neck to keep her coat's hood in place.
- At least two pairs of leggings, or one pair of leggings underneath jeans.
- Insulated snow pants.


Of this outfit, she hated the snow pants the most, and while nobody in school wore anything like that on their day to day, I felt they were important to ward off any drafts that could get in below her long coat. I know that she was overly hot on some of the milder days she walked to school, but discipline is not always easy. However I was a strong believer that she would acclimatize better to her warm clothing if she wore them every day.


And what did I normally wear when going out? At the very least:
- A turtleneck.
- Fur lined leather boots.
- One of my two full length fur coat back from my days in Moscow, which we had been able to have shipped from Ethiopia.
- A warn hat. Normally I wore one of my fur hats, but I also had knit hats for days in which my fur hats proved too hot for comfort.


I won't deny some days it was a struggle to dress like that, but I had to set the example for Tatiana. And besides, working from home I rarely left the house. But just like I imposed on Tatiana, I would dress warmly whenever I went out, even if uncomfortably hot. Tatiana sometimes complained that it wasn't fair that I didn't wear snow pants or a puffy vest underneath my fur coat, so I had to remind her I had been born in Moscow, not Ethiopia. I did compromise with her that would wear my gloves and hat whenever outside.


I would normally take a break from my writing to wait for Tatiana when she was due to come home. I wrote greet her and ask her about her day, while I helped her out her coat, snow pants, and boots. It had become a nice break to the endless writing and editing. One Thursday in late October, as I was looking out the window, I saw Tatiana walk up the steps, while holding her snow pants and coat wrapped up in large bundle in her hands!

As soon as she opened the front door and saw my face, she tried to explain, even though there wasn't anything to explain.

"I'm sorry, mother. I forgot to put my coat on before I got home. I'm so sorry, mother."

"Child, you're not supposed to just put on your coat right before you get home. And your snow pants? You need to put them on before leaving school! That's the whole idea."

"But mother, it's too warm!"

"Nonsense... You need to get used to wearing your clothes and stop complaining. I don't want you to get sick. And from now on, no more games. Now go to your room."

Tatiana dropped her outdoor layers and ran to her room. That night, both her and I remained quiet at night, respectful but quiet.


The next morning, Tatiana got ready for school as usual. Also as usual I helped her put on her snow pants, and the long maxi coat. She was already wearing her leather gloves. She sat down and I helped her lacing her snow boots. I slipped on her thick mittens over her leather gloves, and before Tatiana could notice the modifications I had made to the mittens, I took zip ties and fastened the mittens around her wrists.


"Mother what are doing?" She balked at me, "and what have you done to my mittens? I can't move my thumb." She sounded baffled.


"Dear, your mother needs you to dress warmly, so you with your mittens tied you won't be tempted to remove them. I've also sewed the thumb of your mitten to your palm so that you won't be tempted to tamper with your clothing."


"But what am going to do in school with all of this?"


"Don't worry, I've already called to let them know you won't be attending today."


While Tatiana was still struggling with her mittens, I went ahead and tied zip ties at the top and bottom zipper of her long down coat to metal rings I sewn into the garment. Tatiana wouldn't be able to manipulate the zipper with her hands stuck in the mittens, but I wanted to make sure she stayed put.


"But what am I going to do? I can't even use my hands."


"Yes, I know. This should teach you some patience and submission. The less you move, the less hot and uncomfortable you'll be."


She struggled most of day with her heavy and hot clothes, made even hotter by staying indoors all day (even if our house wasn't kept exceedingly warm). I could see she was distressed, specially in the beginning. She was clearly hot and uncomfortable inside her layers, and I could see sweat dripping from her face. I had to help her go to the restroom, and she struggled to eat with her hands stuck in her mittens, but otherwise she didn't have much to do. I felt bad for her, but I firmly believed it was for her best.


Later in the day, she relaxed and we even spent some time chatting in the afternoon, Tatiana still bundled up just as she had been in the morning. The zip ties and modifications I had made to her mittens and coat worked great.


"I'm going to release you now. But I hope you learned your lesson. If you don't dress properly; yes, as dictated by your mother, you will be disciplined again. Please, remember that your mother needs you to be warm and healthy. The sooner you get used to it, the better."


I started cutting the zip ties that were holding her mittens and coat closed.


"Will I have to keep wearing the mittens with the sewn together fingers?"


"No, silly!" I laughed. "I got you a new pair to wear to school, but I'll keep this pair around in case I need it again. Remember that, my girl!" She laughed coyly with me, and walked over to hug me.


The next day Tatiana was somewhat apprehensive, but did not put any fuzz when I dressed her up for school. She wasn't very happy about wearing the coat that I had sewn the metal rings onto. The rings were not visible, but she felt that she was one step away from being locked into her coat again. I told her it was the only long coat she had, and also the warmest, so she had to just wear it. She was glad that I gave her new regular mittens.


"I expect you to keep yourself bundled up until you reach school, and to bundle yourself up in the same manner when you come back. Snow pants, coat, gloves, mittens, boots, the whole deal. No excuses. Clear?"


"Yes, mother."


I watched as she took off, walking stiffly in her heavy snow boots, snow pants, and winter coat. Her arms slightly raised because of the bulk. "A bit encumbered, but warm, no doubt." I thought.